EX Best Friend

We all have that best friend, the one we can share secrets, make memories, and laugh-to-death with. The peanut butter & jelly, spongebob & patrick, the cement & chalk. - Okay, well the last one was pretty bad. But back to the point, we all need that friend in our lives like that.
Well, I lost my bestest best friend last week. And I miss her really bad, but what was done cannot be undone. &No, there was no dramatic fight or any of that. And If I tell her I want to be friends again, wow, I would look like the biggest fool living on this planet. Since, I was the one who ended our friendship. But I was at a moment of weakness with her, a really jealous  weakness.  But any human being would be jealous too, if they were in the same situation.
First of all, out of no where... She sits at another table at lunch. I was really surprised because we always sit at the same table. So... In 4th period, I asked her
" Why didn't you sit at our table? "
She litterly looked at me, rolled her eyes and walked away. Then she writes me this note. It clearly said  " If you didn't want to friends with me anymore, then you could've said something, you didn't have to be such a bitch and tell Brenda those lies".
First I was shocked, then I was mad. So many people came up to me and asked "Why did you do that to her?". I had no idea what they were all talking about. But then these girls I sat by in math called me a bitch. When I asked why? They told me it was because I was telling people my best friend was a lesbian and how she wanted to sleep with me but I said no.
Now I was so ridiculously mad. Now who the hell would make up that lie? A mental stupid bitch, that's who.  I tried talking to her, telling her that everything was a lie and I never said anything. She didn't believe me. Then I asked who said this... And she said
"Brenda told me what you said to her."
Now I was about to explode. Because in 6th grade me, her, and Brenda used to be the bestest of all friends. But she got so jealous because she felt she was getting left out. So it all made sense.

                                           
If you didn't catch on, it was pretty obvious that Brenda made these lies up. So you would suspect I would be all total mad at Brenda. No. I was mad at her. Why would she believe a lie like that. I really thought we were closer then that.

So It seems she apolagized to me.

And it was cool after a while but...
It was obvious we were drifting. She kept sitting with other people, and we didn't even talk that much. And she kept hanging out with Brenda. Like, REALLY?!!?!?! You can't be serious, why would you hang out with the girl who tried to DESTROY our friendship.
You made it pretty clear you didn't give a damn.

Yeah. I got jealous. And I told her.

"I can hang out with whoever I want to, when did you become the boss of me?" Was her response.
Thanks for caring or even trying to understand. Thanks a lot.
I guess we really did drift apart. But I will always miss having that person in my life who I considered
my


Best Friend.